Tuesday, April 8, 2008
In Praise of Life
I've been missing the son I lost in a miscarriage pretty acutely lately. Maria's just taught herself how to crawl. Every time I see her peak out from a corner, or hustle down the hallway to catch up with her brother and sister, I smile. A 16 year old with a new car license could not be more joyful than she is to finally be "on the move". Sometimes, I'll also get a little heart-stab; "We were supposed to have a walker by this time." (Francisco would have been 16 months old this April).
This past weekend, I stopped by Francisco gravesite with my husband. Usually my visits with the kids are pretty upbeat and sweet. The kids will drop off new toys at the gravesite, say tender prayers and then run around counting all the crosses and "Mommy Mary" Statutes. This time, however, I stood quietly beside my husband and felt too sad to squeak out much of a Hail Mary. Our child's precious body is gone from my womb, buried under a flab of earth until the end of time.
I'm in the midst of mourning again, a full three months before the actual "anniversary date" which hits me hard each July. Instead of feeling foolish, I'm letting it out. I decided to buy Francisco the new statute which is pictured above. When I see this statue in my kitchen, it reminds me to pray for myself and for so many women in similar pain, for Minnesota Mom who's carrying a baby after 3 miscarriages, & for a dear friend who is struggling to conceive for the first time.
My prayers must be working because this week I've received tons of graces. I had the unique joy of hearing Father Francisco say Daily Mass this morning. I recieved an email with a link to this wonderful"post". Please stop by and tell Katherine Ann's mother that you'll pray for her. Then write your own "How I Became Pro Life" post & link it to Anne Marie's wonderful blog!