Saturday, February 5, 2011

Things I Wish I Knew Before Baby Number Four...

My blogger friend, Kaitlin, at More Like Mary, More Like Me is past her due date with her first baby. Go down there and give her some love. She's taking prayer requests for upcoming labor, so be sure to give her something extra hard. Mommy Mary NEVER turns down prayer requests from
ladies in labor.

In Honor of the new baby (who WILL be coming out sometime this month, Kaitlin. We promise!) here is a quick wrap up "things I wish I knew before Baby Number Four.. ."

1) The Cloud b Sleep Sheep might be a gimmick for the baby, but BOY does it work for soothing stressed out Mamas! I'm getting my taxes done online in no time by listening to its "relaxing whale sounds."

2) Keep one pacifier, one pacifier clip in the house. Crazy, but I haven't lost it in three months. When I had 10 for my other kids, I lost my pacifiers all of the time.

What do you Veteran Mothers suggest? (Mothers of all family sizes welcomed to comment!)

Update: As of 11:56 AM, looks like Kaitlin is in labor! Prayers please!


  1. Do not let people "steal the baby from you" which they will want to when they're coming over to help. Instead when they call (hopefully they will), ask them to bring a casserole and give them a specific chore like "could you throw in a load of laundry for me when you come over." When they arrive and lunge for said baby, smile and say something like "boy, I'm so glad that you're hear to help. I've been in the same pjs for three days straight! I really would enjoy a clean pair." Again flash a big smile. They'll get the idea.

    Otherwise what will happen is they will oggle over the baby and you won't get much help. Fortunately that didn't happen to me because I was "warned" by other pro-moms. Their advice was great help.

  2. Thanks Abigail!! Deltaflute-that sounds like WONDERFUL advice!

  3. Here are 2 of my cents...
    If you MUST read parenting how-to books, please take them with a teeny grain of salt. It's better just to skip reading them, I think.

    During all those hours nursing with my first two children, I read so much parenting literature that I think I could qualify for a Master's in Comparative Parenting Lit. How I searched for a baby owner's manual--all the answers and rules and how to be a perfect parent! After awhile it became clear that many of the books contradict each other. Now, five kids later, I'm positive I could write a few of these books myself. The answers (to sleeping, nursing, feeding, etc.) are in your Mommy heart and, probably, head--don't stress, just love your baby and don't try as hard as I did to do everything 'right'!

    God bless you and enjoy this wonderful time with your first! It's so much fun!

    Oh--and go to the movies and/or a nice restaurant with your husband RIGHT NOW. I mean it! It will never be the same! :)

  4. One thing has stuck in my head that I read in a parenting book and I think it pretty much sums up the first year philosophy.

    "It's only a problem if it's a problem for you."

    It became my mantra some days! Well meaning people will give you advice on how to sleep with your child/not sleep with your child/nurse/bottle feed/cloth diaper...etc. etc. And whatever you choose to do there will be a time when you'll hit problems. And if it's a problem for you, no matter how much the rest of your circle may not think it's a problem for them, you have to give yourself leave to fix it. For example, much as I loved using cloth diapers they were creating so much work for me and I was exhausted by it. (We don't have a washing machine, btw, that's why) but I couldn't let go of it, I couldn't stop, and my friends were pro-cloth so they kept urging me on. Eventually, and I wish I'd done it earlier, I had to say "It's a problem for ME. Not for you, obviously, but for me, yes." And I switched to disposables.

    That saying also means, and probably even more importantly, that those parenting decisions that you'll make that other people will disagree with are YOUR decisions to make. I never let my son cry it out, and I felt guilty about that, because everyone kept saying what a terror he would turn into! But it wasn't a problem for me to go to him several times a night or to nurse on demand. That never was something I thought 'can't wait till this is over' and so, you know what? If it wasn't a problem for me then it wasn't a problem.

    I know, I know, easier said than done to ignore or at least smile and nod at well-meaning comments that come from loved ones and friends (or even strangers!). But this baby will click into place with you like two puzzle pieces.

    Have fun!

  5. I am 100% with Deltaflute & Kim & Amy. Trust your motherly instincts. You will do fine in labor. I've had 3 children vaginally without any drugs and they were great experiences that I treasure. Don't worry, he/she'll come out when they're good and ready. During labor, instead of squeezing your fists like they tell you to, try to relax your entire body, so that your body can use all your energy to push out the baby. Yay! Prayers your way, Katilin!

  6. I don't know if it will make sense to other mamas the way it does to me, but let yourself be a straw/funnel for God's grace. When something is really getting to you babywise, just think of God's grace flowing through you rather than coming from you. I would close my eyes, take a big breath, and let it out like I was blowing it out a straw. Saved me many many headaches.

    Another thing: I don't know any adults who can't walk, or won't sleep, or use the toilet, or speak. These are things we all learn eventually, and if Kaitlin doesn't learn as quickly it doesn't mean that she won't learn. It just means that you have a little extra time before she's completely independent.

  7. It wasn't until Baby #4 (who we like to refer to as Annie) that I got a pacifier clip, either. Those things are the best thing EVER. Annie has only ever had one pacifier; it's never lost. Miraculous in my book!

  8. EDIT: Not "if Kaitlin doesn't" but "if Kaitlin's little one doesn't"