A woman died from a late-term abortion a few blocks from my old apartment last week. She died at Shady Grove Memorial Hospital--the place where I used to take my kids for their ER trips.
I know we don't have all the facts yet, and there is a multiple issues to be concerned about--but here are the facts that I do have. Jennifer Morbelli was in her late 20s. Married to her college sweetheart. She was 33 weeks pregnant with her daughter named Madison Leigh. She lived in New Rochelle, NY. According to sources this was a "wanted pregnancy" and one blog linked to her a baby registry in her name at Babies R Us.
She came to Maryland with her husband and her parents to get a late-term abortion after learning that her daughter suffered from "fetal anomalies."
After receiving the abortion, her abortionist left the state. She suffered complications, couldn't reach him by telephone and then was taken to the local hospital ER. She died at 10 AM in the morning.
There is a lot of concern. I think even the lax abortion laws in the State of Maryland were broken in this case. I hope the State Attorney's Office will find justice in this matter.
I want to talk about something underneath the alleged crime. I want to talk about the social morals in our country.
In our Society right now, it is "okay" to have an abortion as a married woman. It's is "okay" to have an abortion when your baby has special needs.
Now, I have no idea what health problems baby Madison had, and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if that baby was going to die inside the womb, or 2 hours outside of it. It doesn't matter if they suspected that she would live with horrible suffering for years.
I am the mother of a NICU child.
I am NOT saying that watching your baby die in front of you is easy. I'm NOT saying that a Children's Hospitals is where you want to be.
But having been sent by God into that field of spiritual battle, I wish more of us parents of sick children said "having a baby with a serious risk of death" is NOT the end of the world.
With Christ, all things are possible. EVERY Mom with Jesus Christ has the grace to love her child through an early infant death.
EVERY MOM
There's not "some special Moms" who were made to be the Mothers of Special Needs Kids.
Every Mom can do it.
And I'm really sorry that Baby Madison died in an abortion --instead of in a hospital room surrounded by doctors who tried to save her life and gave her Mommy and Daddy tissues, and hugs, and silent support.
And I'm really sorry that Jennifer died. I don't blame her. I know that I was scared to DEATH to have a special needs infant. I didn't think I could do it. The only reason I did it was because I didn't have a choice. My Roman Catholic Faith took away my "choice" to abort my child and I'm so grateful. Because some choices don't belong on the table --ever--especially 2 weeks after a horrible pre-natal medical diagnosis when all a Mother sees is the bad news and she haven't had a chance yet to meet her baby girl.
It makes me sad that this scared Mother didn't hide her abortion. She did it within the presence of her husband and her parents. That hurts.
I have sat in the room multiple times where (mostly nurses, not doctors) but where medical people have told me that I had to "abort" due to negative pre-natal diagnosis. It is solely by the grace of God that I have conceived my children after becoming Catholic. In those scary moments, I had the backing of my entire Faith to fight to get my "choice" to remain a Mother of my child respected. There is nothing I can do to say thank you to the Lord my God, but to hug my babies every day and pray for others.
Mary, the Mother of God, pray for us. We commend Baby Madison's soul to your care and pray for her Mother's soul. We also pray for the healing of the hearts of the baby's father and her grandparents.
***
article on a family that chose life despite a severe pre-natal diagnosis
10 comments:
*Vigourous applause.*
As someone who works with special needs kids, I can testify to the "reset button" these children are in the lives of all of us privileged to know them, and their parents.
My most profoundly disabled student, who doesn't speak, teaches me every day about surrender, trust, humility; he accepts me as I am, and welcomes me with unconditional love and a smile.
We desperately need these children and their brave parents in our world.
God bless you, Abigail.
So sad, I will pray for all involved. As a woman whose womb is empty, I would have loved baby Madison. Lord Jesus, have mercy on us!
This story has rocked my world. Literally. Ask my girlfriends, I can't stop talking about it.
Wow, I read all the articles -- my uncle lives very close to this clinic.
I am about as pro-abortion as it's possible to be, and I am OUTRAGED at this egregious example of medical malpractice, and I hope this doctor is brought to justice.
I think I've told you about my experiences with genetic counselors during my pregnancy with Jacob. If not, here's the summary: they are worthless. Jake had a tentative diagnosis of spina bifida (turns out the perinatologist "overcalled" the lemon sign that indicates SB and made the first error my dr witnessed him make in 20 yrs). The genetic counselor who only has a master's degree and is NOT a doctor met with me and showered me with out-of-date and incorrect information about Jake's prognosis as a kid with spina bifida. He would have scared the crap out of me had I not known a little about SB and knew he was wrong. My heart goes out to people who get a poor prenatal diagnosis because they are at the mercy of these counselors and are very easily swayed to abort. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own decisions but these people get you at the most vulnerable time and really do a number on you. After we left the genetic counselor's office, I turned to my husband and said, "and THAT is why 90% of people who get a Down Syndrome diagnosis abort, because of the crap that man spews."
Genetic counselors. God bless them. We went to OSU for our first child and left with information about cystic fibrosis that was from 1980, and I was pregnant in 2004.
If you're pretending to "education us," --lets use real patient education.
(Oh and there was an actual print line that said a cure for "cystic fibrosis was for all potential parents to be tested and then sterilize themselves if they carry that gene.")
I seriously, have never felt so close to Nazi Eugenics as when a nurse described a new 10 week non-invasive ultra sound test for Downs that was free from my HMO. She said "we can tell because "it" has a flabby flap of skin on its neck." She pointed to her neck and made a disgusting face.
I was 35 at the time. At the magic cut off line for increased Downs Risk and I'm like "that IT is my child. I don't what the down side to this test is but your not doing if that that is the look your going to make if my baby has that indicator thing on her ultra sound picture"
Another problem is secrecy.
if a kid is born with fetal abnormalities--then the grapevine can get the family in touch with other people who have similar struggles. A huge community has the opportunity to pray for the family and show them love. (I'm not stupid. Not everyone the world loves a NICU kid, some friends, even Christian ones, drop you like a hot potato) but there are always people that show up and LOVE YOU through a hard Children's Hospital stay.
Always.
The Lord if faithful like that.
So the shame and secrecy of abortion, means that its often not a fair fight.
The couple with a devestating pre-natal diagnosis is talking to a doctor with sometimes wrong, outdated information--not talking to their priest, their holy grandma who buried 5 kids before the advent of penicillin, or the lady in their church who had a NICU kid herself.
I don't know how to fight that culture of shame other than to pray.
"if you're pretending to educate us"
not "education us"
ahh for tired brains and humility
Yes! My line is "if you ever wondered what happened to the Nazis, I can tell you - they all became genetic counselors!" My counselor kept referring to Jake as "it" and I was like "IT has a name, he is Jacob!" We need to wrap the people who receive poor prenatal diagnoses in prayer and support them with whatever they need materially or psychologically.
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