It only took seven pregnancies, but this new little baby is bringing me a book! Hurrah! I've been writing with greater intensity now that I have a hard deadline. I keep thinking "Man, if we get another baby with infant reflux I'm NOT going to be able to write again for 9 months. So get this thing done now!"
I'm super excited because a structure is coming finally for the book. I'm one of these girls who finds Outline writing IMPOSSIBLE. I never know what I'm trying to say, until a lot of trial and error writing gets done first. To finally have a structure in place is such a huge help. I feel like I'm making measurable progress everyday now, instead of just aimlessly wandering around in my thoughts.
I discovered that I write better at home, in my bedroom, in the middle of all the chaos, than I do going for "quiet time in the library." I'm writing in the early morning now, right after Morning Prayer. Usually everyone is still asleep from 6 AM to 7 AM. When I get interrupted, I feel less upset. Sometimes the morning sickness is too bad to write, or sometimes another baby is cranky and needs me. I'm more accepting of this interruptions now. I think "Oh, it's not a writing day" and the next day write with twice the energy. It's beautiful to have that interior mental shift that daily writing time is a gift, rather than a right.
The other change is that I realize that writing this book is just for me! I think before I was getting nervous about "How is this book going to be received?" "What is the market?" I made this leap that writing is just about me. When I type, I get ideas out of my head that I don't even know are in there. Writing is valuable because it clarifies my interior thoughts. This book is worth the time it takes out of my family life, because it helps me. Writing is about the process--not the end result. If anyone else is cheered up by reading this book, that's a secondary goal far below the primary goal of helping me strengthen my resolve to better serve Christ.
Thanks for all the cheerleading as I write my first book. I appreciate all your prayers! I get a special lift from each of your supportive emails. Thank you!