Sunday, March 30, 2014

Why I Have A Lot of Kids

I was so blessed to go on a Silent Retreat with some monks on Saturday. Silence is such a precious experience--especially for me. I'm an extrovert and a recovering Codependent. It's really nice to have a place to reflect and listen in public without the constant undercurrent of "Hi, my name is Abigail! How can I help you?"
 
One of the ideas that floated to the surface this Lent was a feeling of gratitude for my family. It's been a hard season. I'm constantly afraid I'm going to start miscarrying my baby. In the stillness of the monastery, I was able to let real gratitude float up to the surface.
 
As a young kid, I wanted to do something to help kids. I chose the career title "child advocate" to describe what I wanted to do at age 18. After Law School, I pictured doing something in a non-profit. I pictured spending my life helping hundreds of kids connected to the Juvenile Justice System in Boston or Chicago. 
 
I'm so grateful that God had a different plan for my life. Somehow it seems so much more hopeful, more hidden, more "me", to spend my life hanging out with five (or six) awesome human beings. Love heals!
Totally normal part of my family. Kid #1 age 11 and Kid #2 age 9.
Kid #3 age 6. Hope after my first miscarriage.
The extra beauties in my life. Kid #4 (age 3 1/2)  and Kid #5 (age 2). Notice the messy hot chocolate stain on Kid #4. This is posted because "authenticity" is my recovery word of the week. We spent all of this miserable cold winter getting hot chocolate stains on all of our outfits.
Kid #6.
 
I've got four more kids than the average American Family. I've got extra kids because God is awesome. He fixes the broken. He blesses the lowly. He loves the poor. He gives me quiet and rest. I love Lent!